So many long scratch days. I’ve stopped keeping track. Are you kidding me? No, I haven’t. 20, you heard me, 20 long scratch days in a row! What the hell is going on? Is she ever going to leave again? Was there an email I missed? Or a meeting? Did she even consult with me before she made this life changing decision to never leave again? No. I’m running up and down the hall like in my kitten days because she’s always there in my late morning, my whenever I want to sit there spot. Always. Now, I have to lick the shower curtain in the middle of the night because she makes me stop even though I’m doing it at shower curtain licking time, which she clearly doesn’t remember from our last scheduling meeting. Just for the record, nighttime isn’t optimal because most of the water drops have already dried from this morning and another thing, she’s not even doing that every day like before. Yes, I get more cuddles. Yes, I get more attention. Yes, I get more treats. But what are those compared to contemplative naps on my (her) pillow or surveying my domain in peace while laying on my (her) laptop? That’s it, this is my kingdom and I will not suffer this usurpation any longer.
“Bud, what’s up?”
“ … ”
“Bud, I can’t get any work done with you staring at me like that.”
“ … ”
“I know, Bud, but we’re gonna to have to get used it. Sounds like we’ll have to do this for another month at least.”
Another month?! Fuck.
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