And bam, I had been hit by an ice cream truck speeding down the mean streets of Denver at maybe one-hundred miles per hour. Anyone would be certain I’d die instantly but that’s not what happened and what happened was that I stuck to the front of that ice cream truck as it continued to pummel down the road, weaving so carefully through the heavy traffic, unconcerned with ever running into anything at all. Of course, I was terrified. As the wind pressed against my back, I could hear the warped jingle of the ice cream truck careening through the air around me as we passed hospitals, intersections, pedestrians, coffee shops, bars, everything just the same. I was amazed to be alive in one moment and terrified at the prospect of stopping in the next. What would cause someone to do this? To take a novelty vehicle like an ice cream truck on such a rampage, unforgivingly through the city of Denver? I had to know more. The only problem was I was stuck to the front of this ice cream truck like a piece of boneless chicken thrown against the wall, but I wouldn’t let that stop me, so with every force of the universe acting against me, I slowly climbed the grill of the ice cream truck to get a clean view of the window and see who was driving this mad, mad vehicle.
As I pulled myself up, I did in fact get a clean, clear view of who was driving this insane vehicle, and honestly it was nothing much of a surprise – it was an ice cream man, middle-aged in his white uniform and cap gripping the wheel like the stern of a crazy ship he was commanding. He glanced at me and whipped his attention back to the road, and again at me, and again at the road?
“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS???” I yelled at him.
“GET OFF MY WINDOW!!!” he yelled back at me.
“NO!” I said, “I CAN’T! AND I DEMAND ANSWERS! WHY?”
“I DON’T KNOW!!!” he yelled.
“OH YOU KNOW!!!” I yelled.
“LOOK, MAN, I’M A FAILURE. I’M A MIDDLE-AGED MAN WHO DRIVES AN ICE CREAM TRUCK. THERE’S NEVER BEEN ANY KIND OF GREATNESS IN MY LIFE. NO GREAT ROMANCE. NO GREAT SUCCESS. ALL I’LL EVER BE IS THE ICE CREAM MAN DELIVERING ICE CREAM IN HIS ICE CREAM TRUCK!!!”
“SO YOU’VE DECIDED TO DRIVE LIKE A MADMAN THROUGH THE CITY? THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE! I’M LUCKY TO BE ALIVE MYSELF!”
“I’VE GOTTA DO SOMETHING GREAT, EVEN IF IT’S TERRIBLE. I FIGURE I’LL JUST LET THIS THING RUN ITS COURSE AND KEEP GOING UNTIL MY TANK IS EMPTY OR I RUN OFF THE SIDE OF A CLIFF!”
“THIS IS YOUR GREAT STORY? YOU ARE INSANE. DO YOU NOT SEE THAT???”
“WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR ME?”
“I’M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU. I DON’T KNOW, BUT LOOK, MAN, THIS ISN’T IT EITHER. YOU CAN’T JUST GO DESTROYING THE WORLD FOR ATTENTION. THAT IS THE FEAR. JUST TAKE A STEP BACK AND THINK. YOU CAN BARREL YOUR DEATH MACHINE ICE CREAM TRUCK DOWN THE ROAD AT A BAJILLION MILES PER HOUR OR YOU CAN DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE. ANYTHING ELSE.”
“IT’S TOO LATE NOW!” he yelled back at me.
“TOO LATE NOW? IT’S NOT TOO LATE NOW. JUST HIT THE BRAKES, MAN.”
But he didn’t hit the brakes. He just kept pummeling through everything towards the edge of eternity. Running down signpost after signpost, destroying everything that crossed his path, and there I remained in the eternity with him, accompanied only by that timeless ice cream truck jingle. Never departing, never arriving, just an eternal dance of destruction and me along for it all, barely able to move.
©2020 by Brice Maiurro. All rights reserved.